Wednesday, May 18, 2011

It ends here.

I debated on writing this blog. My mind tells me that it doesn't need to be written, but my heart tells me otherwise.

When we realized that the cruise was going to happen for us, we decided to keep it a secret from our girls who were going. We wanted to surprise them! Inadvertently, it also meant keeping it a secret from our girls who WEREN'T going, too. It was NEVER our intention to hurt feelings or betray trusts. In fact, it was just the opposite - we wanted to make our girls smile and be happy and I kept a trust by keeping my mouth shut about going. I knew if I acted anything other than disappointed about not going that it would be discovered that we were going. I am deeply sorry to those people who felt betrayed by our secret. It was not our intention to make anyone feel that way.

That being said, it wasn't (and still isn't) anyone's business that we were there, how it happened or how we kept it a secret. I'm not obliged to tell anyone anything about my life or the secrets I want to keep close to my heart. I have a right to privacy; we all do.

Again, I'm sorry that people felt hurt by our actions to keep this a surprise, but I still wouldn't have done anything differently. The looks on our girls' faces when they discovered we were there were priceless and I wouldn't have traded that for anything in the world.

So while those of you who got upset and ended your friendships with us were at home stewing and being pissed, we were having fun. We were living it up and passing on messages of your love to the guys who brought us together. I hold no hard feelings for those I lost because of this cruise. I'm sorry that you do.

I won't be making phone calls to those who cut me loose. I won't be emailing or begging forgiveness. I won't be addressing the texts or BBM's I got. Your decision to end our friendship is on your shoulders, not mine. I will miss you and I will cherish the times we had together, but the rest of it? That choice was yours. In the end, you're the one losing out and I'm sorry for you.

And in the words of one of my favorite people: "Look at where we are, girl! Nothin' else matters."

This? Is the last I'll say about it. This subject is closed.