The Room

This? is The Room.

This is The Room where Rose Tours staff puts groups who don't have ten people in their photo op group.

It looks big. Spacious. Happy, even. Using words like "Dance" and "Club" to describe it. And a bar, to boot? Ooh!

They lie. It's not a happy place. It's not spacious. There's no dancing, although, you may at some point want to club someone, I don't think that's the theme they had in mind when Carnival created it. And the bar? Isn't staffed. Or stocked.

You don't want to go to The Room.

The Room is where we stubborn people have to negotiate and compromise and give up what we want for the sake of people we may or may not know, much less like. The Room is where dreams go to die. The Room is where the Hunger Games: NK-style happen. And just like the real Hunger Games, it's brutal.

Ladies (and gents), it's reality time.

For those who haven't cruised before, let me paint a picture. You're herded into the Criterion Lounge, a few groups at a time in a neat and orderly line. Group by group, you're hurried onto the stage with your group and, if you're lucky, you can get five SUPER quick hugs before you turn and face the camera. Click. Click. You're herded back off. You don't have time to talk. You don't have time to snuggle. You don't have time to chit-chat. You don't have time to joke around. From the time you step on the stage, til the time you step off the stage, it's literally less than 3 minutes. I'm not kidding. There's a reason they call this a photo opportunity and not a meet & greet. 

2500 fans. 5 guys. An ENTIRE day shot to hell for them because of this photo op. Literally. They are standing in that room from 10 am until the last group of people go through (last year, I think that fell somewhere around 5pm). That's over 7 hours. ...after being in the air 24 hours coming back from the Philippines today. ...after a month and a half of touring around the world. They're already tired. They're already crabby. They have already given us everything they have to give. The least we can do for them is have our shit together so we can make this go as quickly as possible.

That means compromise.

Now, I know some of you have never met the guys. You're excluded from compromising, in my book. If this is your one chance to get to stand next to your favorite new kid, then you should, by all means, have it. And, if you have given up your favorite spot for someone else before, I also think you have a pass here. However, some of us have had our "first time." Some of us have had several times. That's who I'm talking to here. Ladies, please please please be willing to hug your favorite and move down the line to someone who isn't necessarily your favorite. That may mean standing by Jon. Or Danny. It doesn't mean you only get to see him. It just means you stand by him. You've gotten to see them all and probably, if Rose Tours is nice like they were last year, hug them all. Let somebody else have "Your" spot for twenty seconds.

Volunteer as tribute. Please don't make us go into The Room.

A long overdue introduction

Hi kids!

Since we're meeting many of you for the first time next week, I thought it's only fair that we introduce ourselves a little and give you some background on us.

She's Ann Marie (aka @DonniesDancer). Choreographer, dancer, actress and single mom to two pre-teen kids. I'm Mel (aka @OUBad). Author, photographer, wife and mom to two teenage kids. We met 22 years ago at a retreat for kids from divorced/widowed families. We've been friends ever since and consider ourselves sisters: Siamese twins joined at the heart. This means we've got over two decades of insides jokes and stories that only the two of us are privy to. We're a package deal. If you get one of us, you get both of us.

Ann Marie is patient and shy, which can make her come across as aloof or stuck-up. I assure you, that's not the case. She's just quiet, for the most part and chooses to take it all in before she lets her walls down. Her heart is pure, kind and comes from a place of authenticity. She's sentimental and can be your biggest supporter, if you let her. She believes the best in people and will be your biggest advocate. She's the type of friend who will remember birthdays and if you've mentioned (in a state of anesthetic fog) that you want an apple pie, she'll be the one to bake it for you when you come out of that fog. She'll be the first to donate to whatever cause you believe in - not for props or kudos...but because that cause means something to you. 

I, on the other hand, don't know the meaning of the word patient and while I can be shy, I tend to cover it up with my sense of humor, which is pretty sarcastic. It can make me appear to be bitchy and judgmental, but when it comes down to it, I'm really not either one. I'm wildly passionate and emotional and despite how it may appear, I'm quite sensitive. I'm charismatic and generous and I love making people laugh. I'm the one who will pay attention to the slightest detail you may mention and use that to make you smile later. I'll do anything for my friends and if you ever need somebody to fight your battle, I'm your gal. I'm also a mother-hen, so when you need somebody to nurture you, rely on me.

We're both pretty blunt when it comes to expressing our feelings and opinions. Don't let that scare you. While we'll be totally upfront when we're upset about something, you can also bet that we'll be equally upfront when it comes to expressing our love and appreciation for you, as well. And despite the rumors you may hear online, we are very loving people.We'll be your cheerleader and that friend who says "Why not?" when you say "Oh, I couldn't do that...." We push gently and encourage you to step outside your comfort zone and give yourself the chance to see life from a different perspective. Okay, Ann Marie pushes gently. I just give you a good shove and say "What comfort zone?! You no longer have a comfort zone!" (Ask AM. She'll tell you.)

(She thinks she's afraid of heights. I dragged her up to the observation 

deck of the Sears Tower and said "No, you're not.")

We do have a "No bullshit policy," though. We are honest and trustworthy and we expect that in our friends. If we feel for any reason that you're not like that, you're gone. Period. We've both got ex-husbands and crazy family members, so our drama quota is already filled up. We keep our circle of friends pretty tight, but regardless of how close (or distant) you are, what you share with us doesn't get repeated or shared with anyone else. And that includes those we've parted ways with even if it ended badly. That being said, you should know what you tell one of us, you tell both of us. Ann Marie and I have no secrets.

We love to have fun and we have a huge ability to laugh at ourselves. We have no problems making fun of ourselves or the stupid things we've done. We also have a bad habit of giving other people a hard time when they screw up, too. We don't do it with a mean-spirit behind it. We just figure if we can laugh at ourselves (and you can laugh at us), then why can't we do the same? We're up to trying anything once and since we're both social network whores, it'll probably be documented via words, pictures or video, so if you don't want to be thrown under the bus with us, you may wanna stand back. ;) We joke that we've got a hold-harmless agreement for new friends to sign. There isn't really an agreement to sign...but consider yourselves warned that we may rib you at every opportunity. It's how we show love. ;)

A heads-up for you who haven't met us. It's hard to put this part into words without offending people, so please take it in the purpose it's intended: we don't do crazy. We've been there, we've done the squealy, shrieky, "OMGOMGOMGOMG!" thing. We are in no way saying you shouldn't act that way. If that's who you are or what you want to do, then, honey? OWN IT! BE IT! EMBRACE IT! DO IT! But please don't be offended if we slip into the background if/when you do. It's just not who we are anymore. It takes all kinds of people to make the world go around, so there's no judgment here. It's just not what we want to do.

Also, about a year ago, I (Mel) began having panic attacks. I haven't been able to pinpoint what exactly sets them off, so sometimes I'm fine and I can turn around a week later, be in the same boat and have an anxiety attack. I have learned to take my day one moment at a time and when I feel them coming on, I try to remove myself from the situation. If you see me trying to leave, please don't stop me to hug me, hold my hand or pat my shoulder. Just let me go and catch up with me later. The bigger deal you make of it, the worse it gets for me. As a Blockhead, these anxiety issues suck. They suck SO bad. Aside from constantly being submerged in crowds of people, I also get to deal with people who want to make fun of me or imply I'm faking. It's adding insult to injury and it sucks. If you've ever seen me in the midst of a panic attack, you would know this isn't for attention or pity. The last thing I want is for people to see me in tears or hyperventilating. It's ugly and embarrassing. Love me or hate me, I don't care...but if you've got a heartbeat in your chest, please just be compassionate enough to not make a bad situation worse by talking shit.

We've been very fortunate to have some great experiences fall into our laps. We're friends with people from all walks of life, including celebrities. That doesn't make us better than anybody else. It's just how it is. We don't treat anybody differently because of their status...which is probably why we've made friends with these people. They trust us implicitly because they know that we're not going to flaunt those relationships. So please know, if you're using us to get close to these friends, you're making a mistake. We will never exploit our friendships. Because of these friendships and our approach to them, some people don't like us. That's fine. I don't expect everyone to like us. I certainly don't like everyone I meet. My only disappointment comes from the fact that those people have chosen to dislike us for reasons that really don't have much to do with us personally. Like or don't like us...but at least meet us first.

And if you wanna know what it's like to travel with us, here are a few glimpses into our world:
Shenanigans: Boston Edition
Shenanigans: Project L.A.
Shenanigans: Big Apple: Konichiwa Bitches
Shenanigans: Windy City: Hold Harmless
Shenanigans: Kansas City: The Stupid Zone
Shenanigans: Miami: Whitelaw-less
Shenanigans: Okoboji (Pt. 1)  (Pt. 2)
(Yes, we know we're ridiculous. It's okay.)

Hopefully, this gives you a little better glimpse of who we are and what makes us tick. We look forward to meeting you soon!