The Room

This? is The Room.

This is The Room where Rose Tours staff puts groups who don't have ten people in their photo op group.

It looks big. Spacious. Happy, even. Using words like "Dance" and "Club" to describe it. And a bar, to boot? Ooh!

They lie. It's not a happy place. It's not spacious. There's no dancing, although, you may at some point want to club someone, I don't think that's the theme they had in mind when Carnival created it. And the bar? Isn't staffed. Or stocked.

You don't want to go to The Room.

The Room is where we stubborn people have to negotiate and compromise and give up what we want for the sake of people we may or may not know, much less like. The Room is where dreams go to die. The Room is where the Hunger Games: NK-style happen. And just like the real Hunger Games, it's brutal.

Ladies (and gents), it's reality time.

For those who haven't cruised before, let me paint a picture. You're herded into the Criterion Lounge, a few groups at a time in a neat and orderly line. Group by group, you're hurried onto the stage with your group and, if you're lucky, you can get five SUPER quick hugs before you turn and face the camera. Click. Click. You're herded back off. You don't have time to talk. You don't have time to snuggle. You don't have time to chit-chat. You don't have time to joke around. From the time you step on the stage, til the time you step off the stage, it's literally less than 3 minutes. I'm not kidding. There's a reason they call this a photo opportunity and not a meet & greet. 

2500 fans. 5 guys. An ENTIRE day shot to hell for them because of this photo op. Literally. They are standing in that room from 10 am until the last group of people go through (last year, I think that fell somewhere around 5pm). That's over 7 hours. ...after being in the air 24 hours coming back from the Philippines today. ...after a month and a half of touring around the world. They're already tired. They're already crabby. They have already given us everything they have to give. The least we can do for them is have our shit together so we can make this go as quickly as possible.

That means compromise.

Now, I know some of you have never met the guys. You're excluded from compromising, in my book. If this is your one chance to get to stand next to your favorite new kid, then you should, by all means, have it. And, if you have given up your favorite spot for someone else before, I also think you have a pass here. However, some of us have had our "first time." Some of us have had several times. That's who I'm talking to here. Ladies, please please please be willing to hug your favorite and move down the line to someone who isn't necessarily your favorite. That may mean standing by Jon. Or Danny. It doesn't mean you only get to see him. It just means you stand by him. You've gotten to see them all and probably, if Rose Tours is nice like they were last year, hug them all. Let somebody else have "Your" spot for twenty seconds.

Volunteer as tribute. Please don't make us go into The Room.