The Room

This? is The Room.

This is The Room where Rose Tours staff puts groups who don't have ten people in their photo op group.

It looks big. Spacious. Happy, even. Using words like "Dance" and "Club" to describe it. And a bar, to boot? Ooh!

They lie. It's not a happy place. It's not spacious. There's no dancing, although, you may at some point want to club someone, I don't think that's the theme they had in mind when Carnival created it. And the bar? Isn't staffed. Or stocked.

You don't want to go to The Room.

The Room is where we stubborn people have to negotiate and compromise and give up what we want for the sake of people we may or may not know, much less like. The Room is where dreams go to die. The Room is where the Hunger Games: NK-style happen. And just like the real Hunger Games, it's brutal.

Ladies (and gents), it's reality time.

For those who haven't cruised before, let me paint a picture. You're herded into the Criterion Lounge, a few groups at a time in a neat and orderly line. Group by group, you're hurried onto the stage with your group and, if you're lucky, you can get five SUPER quick hugs before you turn and face the camera. Click. Click. You're herded back off. You don't have time to talk. You don't have time to snuggle. You don't have time to chit-chat. You don't have time to joke around. From the time you step on the stage, til the time you step off the stage, it's literally less than 3 minutes. I'm not kidding. There's a reason they call this a photo opportunity and not a meet & greet. 

2500 fans. 5 guys. An ENTIRE day shot to hell for them because of this photo op. Literally. They are standing in that room from 10 am until the last group of people go through (last year, I think that fell somewhere around 5pm). That's over 7 hours. ...after being in the air 24 hours coming back from the Philippines today. ...after a month and a half of touring around the world. They're already tired. They're already crabby. They have already given us everything they have to give. The least we can do for them is have our shit together so we can make this go as quickly as possible.

That means compromise.

Now, I know some of you have never met the guys. You're excluded from compromising, in my book. If this is your one chance to get to stand next to your favorite new kid, then you should, by all means, have it. And, if you have given up your favorite spot for someone else before, I also think you have a pass here. However, some of us have had our "first time." Some of us have had several times. That's who I'm talking to here. Ladies, please please please be willing to hug your favorite and move down the line to someone who isn't necessarily your favorite. That may mean standing by Jon. Or Danny. It doesn't mean you only get to see him. It just means you stand by him. You've gotten to see them all and probably, if Rose Tours is nice like they were last year, hug them all. Let somebody else have "Your" spot for twenty seconds.

Volunteer as tribute. Please don't make us go into The Room.

A long overdue introduction

Hi kids!

Since we're meeting many of you for the first time next week, I thought it's only fair that we introduce ourselves a little and give you some background on us.

She's Ann Marie (aka @DonniesDancer). Choreographer, dancer, actress and single mom to two pre-teen kids. I'm Mel (aka @OUBad). Author, photographer, wife and mom to two teenage kids. We met 22 years ago at a retreat for kids from divorced/widowed families. We've been friends ever since and consider ourselves sisters: Siamese twins joined at the heart. This means we've got over two decades of insides jokes and stories that only the two of us are privy to. We're a package deal. If you get one of us, you get both of us.

Ann Marie is patient and shy, which can make her come across as aloof or stuck-up. I assure you, that's not the case. She's just quiet, for the most part and chooses to take it all in before she lets her walls down. Her heart is pure, kind and comes from a place of authenticity. She's sentimental and can be your biggest supporter, if you let her. She believes the best in people and will be your biggest advocate. She's the type of friend who will remember birthdays and if you've mentioned (in a state of anesthetic fog) that you want an apple pie, she'll be the one to bake it for you when you come out of that fog. She'll be the first to donate to whatever cause you believe in - not for props or kudos...but because that cause means something to you. 

I, on the other hand, don't know the meaning of the word patient and while I can be shy, I tend to cover it up with my sense of humor, which is pretty sarcastic. It can make me appear to be bitchy and judgmental, but when it comes down to it, I'm really not either one. I'm wildly passionate and emotional and despite how it may appear, I'm quite sensitive. I'm charismatic and generous and I love making people laugh. I'm the one who will pay attention to the slightest detail you may mention and use that to make you smile later. I'll do anything for my friends and if you ever need somebody to fight your battle, I'm your gal. I'm also a mother-hen, so when you need somebody to nurture you, rely on me.

We're both pretty blunt when it comes to expressing our feelings and opinions. Don't let that scare you. While we'll be totally upfront when we're upset about something, you can also bet that we'll be equally upfront when it comes to expressing our love and appreciation for you, as well. And despite the rumors you may hear online, we are very loving people.We'll be your cheerleader and that friend who says "Why not?" when you say "Oh, I couldn't do that...." We push gently and encourage you to step outside your comfort zone and give yourself the chance to see life from a different perspective. Okay, Ann Marie pushes gently. I just give you a good shove and say "What comfort zone?! You no longer have a comfort zone!" (Ask AM. She'll tell you.)

(She thinks she's afraid of heights. I dragged her up to the observation 

deck of the Sears Tower and said "No, you're not.")

We do have a "No bullshit policy," though. We are honest and trustworthy and we expect that in our friends. If we feel for any reason that you're not like that, you're gone. Period. We've both got ex-husbands and crazy family members, so our drama quota is already filled up. We keep our circle of friends pretty tight, but regardless of how close (or distant) you are, what you share with us doesn't get repeated or shared with anyone else. And that includes those we've parted ways with even if it ended badly. That being said, you should know what you tell one of us, you tell both of us. Ann Marie and I have no secrets.

We love to have fun and we have a huge ability to laugh at ourselves. We have no problems making fun of ourselves or the stupid things we've done. We also have a bad habit of giving other people a hard time when they screw up, too. We don't do it with a mean-spirit behind it. We just figure if we can laugh at ourselves (and you can laugh at us), then why can't we do the same? We're up to trying anything once and since we're both social network whores, it'll probably be documented via words, pictures or video, so if you don't want to be thrown under the bus with us, you may wanna stand back. ;) We joke that we've got a hold-harmless agreement for new friends to sign. There isn't really an agreement to sign...but consider yourselves warned that we may rib you at every opportunity. It's how we show love. ;)

A heads-up for you who haven't met us. It's hard to put this part into words without offending people, so please take it in the purpose it's intended: we don't do crazy. We've been there, we've done the squealy, shrieky, "OMGOMGOMGOMG!" thing. We are in no way saying you shouldn't act that way. If that's who you are or what you want to do, then, honey? OWN IT! BE IT! EMBRACE IT! DO IT! But please don't be offended if we slip into the background if/when you do. It's just not who we are anymore. It takes all kinds of people to make the world go around, so there's no judgment here. It's just not what we want to do.

Also, about a year ago, I (Mel) began having panic attacks. I haven't been able to pinpoint what exactly sets them off, so sometimes I'm fine and I can turn around a week later, be in the same boat and have an anxiety attack. I have learned to take my day one moment at a time and when I feel them coming on, I try to remove myself from the situation. If you see me trying to leave, please don't stop me to hug me, hold my hand or pat my shoulder. Just let me go and catch up with me later. The bigger deal you make of it, the worse it gets for me. As a Blockhead, these anxiety issues suck. They suck SO bad. Aside from constantly being submerged in crowds of people, I also get to deal with people who want to make fun of me or imply I'm faking. It's adding insult to injury and it sucks. If you've ever seen me in the midst of a panic attack, you would know this isn't for attention or pity. The last thing I want is for people to see me in tears or hyperventilating. It's ugly and embarrassing. Love me or hate me, I don't care...but if you've got a heartbeat in your chest, please just be compassionate enough to not make a bad situation worse by talking shit.

We've been very fortunate to have some great experiences fall into our laps. We're friends with people from all walks of life, including celebrities. That doesn't make us better than anybody else. It's just how it is. We don't treat anybody differently because of their status...which is probably why we've made friends with these people. They trust us implicitly because they know that we're not going to flaunt those relationships. So please know, if you're using us to get close to these friends, you're making a mistake. We will never exploit our friendships. Because of these friendships and our approach to them, some people don't like us. That's fine. I don't expect everyone to like us. I certainly don't like everyone I meet. My only disappointment comes from the fact that those people have chosen to dislike us for reasons that really don't have much to do with us personally. Like or don't like us...but at least meet us first.

And if you wanna know what it's like to travel with us, here are a few glimpses into our world:
Shenanigans: Boston Edition
Shenanigans: Project L.A.
Shenanigans: Big Apple: Konichiwa Bitches
Shenanigans: Windy City: Hold Harmless
Shenanigans: Kansas City: The Stupid Zone
Shenanigans: Miami: Whitelaw-less
Shenanigans: Okoboji (Pt. 1)  (Pt. 2)
(Yes, we know we're ridiculous. It's okay.)

Hopefully, this gives you a little better glimpse of who we are and what makes us tick. We look forward to meeting you soon!

How times have changed

The other night, as I wrote my story for the NKOTB and US submission, I realized just how many amazing times I've had because of New Kids. I write this, not to brag or rub it in anyone's face, but it's important to me that you know that despite everything that's happened to me the last three years, I still don't take a single moment for granted.

I remember my first taste of Face Time in April 2009. I remember every minute of that whole day, right down to the fact that Donnie was wearing the "Butter Coat" (the leather was as soft as buttah!). When I first shared my story from that day, I wrote about every little detail from the time it began (the night before) until well after we returned home late (early?) that night (the next morning?). I had waited twenty-one years for the moment when I would first meet a New Kid and I didn't want to lose a single memory.

I met more of the guys later that spring when I went to New York for the Today Show and again over the summer when I had my first and only 5* in Denver. Since then I've gotten the chance to talk to them a few more times, each time being more special and personal than the last. And you've probably noticed that I don't share the details anymore. Much of my reluctance is because I don't want to appear egotistical about the time I've been fortunate enough to get with them. The last thing I want is for someone to feel like I'm rubbing anything in their face. I've been there and I wouldn't wish that feeling on anyone. But honestly, the biggest reason I don't share much about my time with them is because it's my time with them.

They're my moments.

They're what I see when I close my eyes and think back to certain cities or circumstances. They're the voices I hear when my mind can't shut down at night. They're the happy place I retreat to when life's just too crazy to deal with. 

I still remember every detail of every encounter and I've written them all down (as if they'll ever disappear from my head), but instead of sharing them now, I want to hold them close to me. It's like a secret nobody else knows. We live in a world full of public timelines and oversharing of personal information on a constant  basis. Thanks to Twitter, Facebook and Google, we get immediate play-by-plays of the lives of everyone we know. Isn't it nice to have a few secrets now and again?

What the hell is WRONG with people?

I've had my share of mistakes, broken friendships and hurt feelings. I've made the wrong choices plenty of times in my life, but never...NEVER...have I INTENTIONALLY set out to do it.

I live with my heart on my sleeve and I love easily. I also open myself up to people without much question. Tonight, I realized that was a mistake. Because I am genuine and I come from a mindset of truth, I forget that not everyone else does. I take for granted that everyone I meet has no agendas or hidden propaganda. No one is out to get me or use me to get something. That's what I tell myself.

Tonight I learned otherwise.

I learned that not all Blockheads are good people. That some Blockheads are two-faced and will stab you in the back as soon as look at you the minute they get what they want. They'll talk shit about you, tell others things you told them in confidence and will use your vulnerabilities to get something they seek. They'll steal, they'll lie, they'll cheat, they'll manipulate. They'll do whatever it takes to get their hands on whatever it is they need from you.

Luckily, I was alerted to this person before she got much from me. All she got was a few good facetime stories. Whatever she sought wasn't gotten. I do pity her, though. Apparently she has several accounts, and based on what those accounts have tweeted, each matches a different face she wears. It's a shame really, because she's a beautiful woman. And the side of herself she showed me was good at being sweet and concerned.

I'd say I was a fool, but I wasn't. I believed what she told me. I believed what I saw. She was the fool -- she chose to cross ME. More importantly, she chose to cross my best friend. And people...if there's one way to piss me off, it's to fuck with Ann Marie.

People get ONE chance with me. ONE. Apologies don't mean much to me without action and I refuse to forget things. That's not to say I dwell on the past - I just don't choose to make the same mistake twice. Those who choose to? Good luck.

Me? I'm done.

The Dark Place

April 16, 1994

The drive to Kansas City from Des Moines felt like it took only a few minutes, but in reality, we left town at 3am, only to arrive at Memorial Hall around 7. We circled the arena and were hell bent on being able to meet our favorite band, New Kids on the Block. Having not been to a show in almost 3 years, we went off what we knew: the location and our determination.

When we arrived, there wasn't a soul to be found near this tiny venue. Having sold out stadiums & huge arenas, we were shocked at the size of this tiny auditorium, but encouraged that maybe it would just be more intimate....like an MTV-Unplugged show. We were a bit perplexed at the lack of equipment trucks and the absence of tour buses, but it was still early, afterall.

We decided to kill some time shopping and eventually made our way back to the arena around 4. Finally the trucks had arrived and had been setting up for some time it seemed. A few handfuls of girls waited around by the doors & on the front steps of the arena. There were a few girls talking to someone who I later found out was the choreographer for the tour. We talked to him for a few minutes ourselves. We wandered around a bit, hoping for a glimpse...some scrap of evidence that our boys were there, but other than seeing a woman someone said was Danny's girlfriend, we didn't see much.

Hours went by and we finally filed into the auditorium. If you could even call it that. It was more like a converted high school gymnasium. There *may* have been 1,500 people there. We'd gotten the last seats for the show, which were in the VERY back row. We could literally sit on the back of our chairs and rest against the outer walls of the auditorium.

But we were THERE, dammit! We were seeing our boys in just a few minutes! I don't honestly remember who opened the show, or if anyone opened the show. We were too anxious to see the guys. Finally, the lights went down...and the curtain went up...

....oh my GOD!!!

We squealed and screamed and shouted and hollered with everyone else in the auditorium. We scrambled to find who was standing where so we could zero in on our favorite (at the time, we were both Jon girls). Mic stand! Mic stand! Mic stand! Mic stand! Mic st...wait. No...1, 2, 3, 4.....

Joey.

Danny.

Donnie.

Jordan.

What. The. Fuck?

We scanned again and again, finally looking at each other with tears in our eyes. Where the hell is Jon? We went from ecstatic to stoic in a split second. We slid from the backs of our chairs into them and sat there with our heads in our hands. What happened??

This isn't New Kids on the Block! There's only FOUR mic stands. There's FIVE members!

I couldn't tell you what was sung that night or what was said. I only remember what the guys looked like because it was what everybody wore those days: flannel. All I remember was the heartache of knowing that our boy band was missing a member. OUR member. Jordan finally explained later that Jon had fallen off his horse, Shakespeare, and was recovering. He was fine, but wasn't able to perform at that time.  We were crushed. I wish I could tell you that the show went on and it was wonderful, but I can't. It was horrible. The sound was bad, the songs were iffy, at best. But I can't tell you if that had more to do with the group or its missing member.

By 1994, Bop and Teen Beat weren't covering stories on New Kids anymore, so we hadn't heard a thing. Internet was still a thing of the future so we had no way of knowing what had happened or what was to come. We were totally in the dark, but we knew one thing. It would never be the same as what it was. We were twenty now and not only did this whole thing signify the end of our favorite group, we knew it closed the door on our youth. It was a bitter pill to swallow.

We drove home that night, depressed and heartbroken. For years, we blocked this out of our heads and tried to only remember when the group was at its best. I couldn't even listen to "Face the Music" because it was such a raw memory for me. To this day, I still refer to this as "The Dark Place."

Nobody owes you shit

I will preface this blog with the disclaimer that I know that I have been afforded some pretty great opportunities where our guys are concerned. I will never forget those times, nor do I take them for granted. That being said, I will also never expect them to give anything to me. They owe me nothing.

And guess what?

They don't owe you anything either.

Someone vomited an RT into my Twitter timeline today where someone said they hoped Jordan's bus crashes. Why? Because he didn't take a minute to take a picture with her last night.

Are you fucking kidding me?

Sadly, this isn't the first time I've heard of something like this happening: People getting pissed because they don't get the attention they desire. I've seen it at concerts, after parties, tv tapings and on the cruise.

I understand the need for validation and the desire to feel appreciated. I do. What I don't understand is the warped mindset that these guys are at our disposal - to be at our beck and call 100% of their time. This is their job - not their lives. While I know they take it seriously, please try, for a moment, to realize that they give FAR more to us than most musicians. Take Backstreet Boys, for instant. Isn't their Meet and Greet behind a gate? For VIP with Bon Jovi, you don't even get to MEET them. You're paying $700 for good seats and the chance at Richie Sambora flicking a guitar pick at you. Woo.

I had a conversation with an acquaintance last month who was talking about someone who'd seen Joe at the Miami airport after the cruise. The woman had asked for a picture and he made a remark alluding to the fact that he was "off the clock." The woman was disappointed (understandably so) and my acquaintance was relaying the story. "She paid for time with him, why did he refuse her?" was the general gist of the conversation between my friend and I that day. I tried to put it in perspective. "No. She paid for a cruise. On that cruise, there are events where she may see him, meet him or interact with him. She did not, however, pay for time before or after that cruise where she might run into him. He doesn't owe her or anyone else anything once he left that boat." (The girl at the airport and I have recently talked and she clarified that she was understanding of the situation with Joe. The affect of the conversation was my friend's opinion of the situation.)

Bottom line is, we can be hopeful, but to go into a situation with expectations is just asking for disappointment. Just because we buy concert tickets or splurge for VIP at an after-party, it doesn't guarantee that we're going to have even an exchanged glance with the guys. Everything we do is a choice - we can choose to spend the money on 5* or we can choose not to. We can choose to be at a concert (or six) or choose to stay home. We can also choose to act graciously and maturely when our expectations aren't met. Or, you can choose to act like a spoiled six year old when you don't get what you want.

What's it gonna be?

It ends here.

I debated on writing this blog. My mind tells me that it doesn't need to be written, but my heart tells me otherwise.

When we realized that the cruise was going to happen for us, we decided to keep it a secret from our girls who were going. We wanted to surprise them! Inadvertently, it also meant keeping it a secret from our girls who WEREN'T going, too. It was NEVER our intention to hurt feelings or betray trusts. In fact, it was just the opposite - we wanted to make our girls smile and be happy and I kept a trust by keeping my mouth shut about going. I knew if I acted anything other than disappointed about not going that it would be discovered that we were going. I am deeply sorry to those people who felt betrayed by our secret. It was not our intention to make anyone feel that way.

That being said, it wasn't (and still isn't) anyone's business that we were there, how it happened or how we kept it a secret. I'm not obliged to tell anyone anything about my life or the secrets I want to keep close to my heart. I have a right to privacy; we all do.

Again, I'm sorry that people felt hurt by our actions to keep this a surprise, but I still wouldn't have done anything differently. The looks on our girls' faces when they discovered we were there were priceless and I wouldn't have traded that for anything in the world.

So while those of you who got upset and ended your friendships with us were at home stewing and being pissed, we were having fun. We were living it up and passing on messages of your love to the guys who brought us together. I hold no hard feelings for those I lost because of this cruise. I'm sorry that you do.

I won't be making phone calls to those who cut me loose. I won't be emailing or begging forgiveness. I won't be addressing the texts or BBM's I got. Your decision to end our friendship is on your shoulders, not mine. I will miss you and I will cherish the times we had together, but the rest of it? That choice was yours. In the end, you're the one losing out and I'm sorry for you.

And in the words of one of my favorite people: "Look at where we are, girl! Nothin' else matters."

This? Is the last I'll say about it. This subject is closed.

Cruise control

When you're on a long roadtrip, the best thing you can do is stock up on sodas & beef jerky, slip into the right lane and set your cruise control. Exit when you need to, rest when you're tired and drive at the speed you're comfortable at.

That's where I'm at: the right lane, cruising comfortably.

When the reunion was announced in 2008, I was prepared to get in my car and race to my destination, see what I came to see and then return home. That's not what happened.

What happened was I realized how much I missed "road trips." And my friends. And the guys. So when 2009 hit, I decided I was going to get in that left lane (with my besties, of course) and ride like the wind. And ride, we did. We sped to destination after destination, city to city, resting only when we were so exhausted we couldn't keep our eyes open. Starbucks and Twizzlers fueled us, most days. Other days, it was sheer adrenaline...almost like being on the autobahn. Not that I've ever been to Germany, but...anyway..what was I saying? Oh yeah. Speeding down the highway.

When the end of Full Service came about, I welcomed a bit of a rest stop. I didn't want the trip to end, of course, but the turtle crawl of life was a welcome reprieve. Caught up on sleep and much of my debt. And common sense took over for me and many of us. We realized that while the tour was over, the reunion wasn't (like so many of us had feared) and we could sit back and reevaluate what we really wanted out of this ride.

After 6,000 miles in 2009 (no, I'm not exaggerating), I personally came to the decision in 2010 that I wasn't going to do it again. Not that much, anyway. I just didn't have it in me. Some of the fans were starting to get on my nerves and even a couple of the guys tended to push my buttons a little bit at times, too. I was wearing out. So when the "CasiNO Tour" was announced, I didn't get excited. They weren't hitting cities nearby and honestly? I was tired of traveling all over the damn country for them. Then a friend pointed out that Hammond, Indiana was actually just across the state line from Chicago.

Well, shit.

There went that.

But..we kept it in perspective and only did the three shows in Hammond. Okay, yes, so we did three shows and technically, that's probably kinda crazy, but when you considered that when we did three shows the year before, we drove 3,000 miles and this time we were only driving about 600 or so for this one, we really weren't doing so bad.

And other than the trip to NYC for the Joe/Eman show in October, I stuck to my guns about not going nuts in 2010.

Now that our guys have announced this joint tour with BSB, while I don't want the ride to end, I'm not all that rushed about getting back on the highway. Did I buy tickets this morning? Yes. One pair. For ONE show. I'm entertaining the thought of a second show in another city, but if we don't get them, I'm not going to be sad.

I gotta be honest, the view from the right lane is peaceful. And I don't have the same road rage I had when we first decided to pack up the car. I like the pace on cruise control.

Once and for all...

I'm going to go against my own advice of ignoring the haters and address an "apology" that circulated today from the creator of @NKsTruthTable.

I may come to regret my decision to give this person any more attention than they've already gotten, but let's be honest, I'm not one to keep my mouth shut for long. (Apparently this is one of their complaints about me. Ironic, huh?)

The blog that was posted today can be found here, but just in case they decide to remove the blog, I've taken a screen cap of what was said. (click on the picture to see it full-size)

I want to break apart what she's saying so there's no questions or generalities in my response then I will address the "apology" as a whole.

1. "Many people have labeled me as a negative person."
You are. Your tweets (whether as NKsTruthtable or yourself) almost always have a negative tone. If this weren't the case, you wouldn't have been banned from ning and other chat sites like you have. I sense this probably only continues the cycle of negativity, but there you have it.

2. "Pointing out the obvious..."
If it's that obvious, then you don't need to "point it out." It's obvious. That's what obvious means.

3. "Am I going to put my read ID on this page for everyone to blast? Absolutely not."
Let the cowardice continue. I'll play your game. I won't out you. Your "sisters" will do that for you quickly enough. But if you had any inkling of courage, you'd admit your faults as yourself and not behind some "anonymous" blog.

4. "I have lost a few good friends because of my views. They have pointed out that they are “disappointed” in me."
And this is what this "apology" stems from. You're not sorry for the things you've done or said, the people you've hurt and spread lies about. You're sorry because you've lost friends and you feel lonely. That's not where true regret comes from. That's just a side effect.

5. "This is not something I intended, however it has happened."
What exactly did you intend? Because all I see is someone who wants to gossip and backstab (hence the "anonymous" name) and if you think that won't hurt someone's feelings, you're more ignorant than I gave you credit for.

6. "I have been called a cowered, a bitch, jealous among other things. It is true I do have alittle of each one of those inside me."
At least you own up to it. Although, this isn't news to us you've blasted either through Twitter or over at what I've termed "Asshole Alley" and the other gossip sites you belong to.

7. "One thing I am NOT is a hater. I despise that word and I think it is overused."
Just because you don't like the word doesn't mean you're not one. It can be overused, but I think in this particular case, it's on-point. Cowards, bitches and jealous people are also haters. Kindness certainly doesn't step from profiles like yours. It's hate. You have perpetuated hate and in doing that, you've defined yourself as a hater. We didn't give you that label. You gave it to yourself.

8. "My views are just as important as anyone else's."
You're right, they are. We're all entitled to our opinions - right, wrong or otherwise. However, when I express my opinion, I do it under the same name I've used for years. I do it as myself with my own face and my own words. I don't hide behind some bullshit account so nobody knows its me. I give my opinion freely and without reserve. That may be a character flaw - according to you and those on Asshole Alley, it is - but at least nobody has to wonder where I stand or if I'm talking shit behind their back. Those who are 'friends' with you don't have that luxury.


Am I glad that @NKsTruthTable is being shut down? Absolutely. But unfortunately, it's too late to fix the damage you've done. And I tend to think that your absence won't last long. You'll be back again. Probably sooner than I suspect and most definitely filled with more venom than you have now. I find that sad. I bet you could be a nice person if you tried. I don't know you face to face - don't care to at this point - but that's the thing. The gossip you spread, the hate you perpetuated, the trash you talked was about people you don't even know. We're profiles on a computer screen. A nameless face in the crowd at a concert. If you spent more time getting to KNOW the people you judge so carelessly, you might learn something.

On a personal level and having been one of the people who was discussed so freely over on Asshole Alley, I feel its only fair to let you know that I forgive you. Once I post this blog, as far as I'm concerned, it's over. I will also be apologizing to someone I've spent far too much time being irritated by. (See? Even I can learn something in all this.)

I don't expect everyone to like me. With a mouth and opinionated nature like mine, I know there will be people like you who talk shit about me. And that's fine. It used to bother me, I won't lie. But with age comes wisdom and with wisdom comes acceptance of my flaws. I'm flawed. shrugging I'm human. I'm entitled to be flawed.

The thing you need to remember though...as a fellow human being, its not your job to point out my flaws. It's your job to accept me despite them. You don't have to like me, but you do need to accept our differences. There's a big difference between the two.

I hope that whatever you hoped to accomplish with your "apology" is what you got by posting it. I also hope you've learned from the mistakes you made. Life's too short to fill it with meanness.

I also hope that if you hear nothing else...you hear this: YOU are in charge of choosing what you fill your life with. If you've surrounded yourself with hate, drama and lies, that's what you will breed. If you're filled with negativity, cowardice and jealousy, ask yourself why, but more importantly ask yourself if you want to stay that way. If you do, then I congratulate you on a turbulent life filled with rejection. If not, then I wish you luck in making the changes necessary to be happy, or at the very least content.


I personally have no issues with you at this point. But I will say this, if you fuck with me or my sisters again, you're gonna need to run fast, run long and run hard.

Jon is an @OUBad girl!

During Saturday's show, we befriended those around us and the girl in the row in front of us told us that she just got front row for Sunday's show at the box office. I looked at RiceChex and she said "I'm on it!" And she took off for Will Call. She came back with 7th row seats in section 3 on the floor. They replaced the tickets we had in section 105 row D. At that point, a plan was born.

After lunch on Sunday, I quickly put my plan into action and made the sign that would hopefully give Jon Knight a giggle on stage:

(A little history: I flip Jon a LOT of shit. And he takes it, usually whizzing a zinger right back at me. It's just the relationship we have: it thrives on harassment. I tell him I'm not a Jon girl. He thinks differently. It works for us.)

Since ProjectDance had 5*, I sent her in with a mission: to tell Jon to watch out for me. She told him I was in the 7th row and had a special sign for him. He laughed and shook his head and said "Aww, shit! She's crazy!" (He's right, really. But I'm not BatShitCrazy. I'm just normal crazy. If you have to ask the difference, you'll never understand the answer.)

I figured I'd let him get through the first couple songs before I tormented him with my sign. I know his nerves are always a little fried at the beginning of a show. So I waited until "The Right Stuff" before I unfolded it and held it up. Since I was on the aisle, I was able to hold it out to the side long enough for him to see it. He kinda squinted at it and looked away, then looked back at me and shook his head with a smirk. I laughed. He laughed.

Mission accomplished.

He caught my eye several times throughout the show and I'd always wink and smile at him. He'd grin back. I was a happy girl. Fast forward to "Tonight."

This is the point in the show where the guys come off stage and head into the crowd. Donnie goes up between sections on the right side, Joe takes up the far left side and across the back. Jordan and Danny stick with the main aisle between orchestra and floor and Jon goes...well, wherever Jon goes (he switched on all three nights). Sunday, though, Jon went up between sections on the right, which are straight up the aisle from where we were. I stayed put and watched the guys from my seat. Jon turned around and his eyes scanned the crowd like they were all doing, then he saw me and I smiled, winked & pointed at him. He lifted his hand and did a two-fingered military-type salute to me with a smile. Again...figured that was it. I was a very happy girl. Got lotsa love from him.

The song began to wind down and the guys started down the steps and I watched Jon, of course because he was closest. Him and Jordan both. Then I notice that he's looking right at me. And I look over at RiceChex who greets me with an "Oh. Shit." I reciprocate. I look up again and Jon's pushing past Jordan, Earl and Kentucky to get to my aisle. He blows off swarming BH's and gives me a HUGE hug and a kiss on the cheek. I return the favor, of course. (I may have also broken his mic. Something fell off that he bent to pick up, anyway. It might have been my jaw hitting the floor for all I know. LOL). And off he went.

I've been trying to find good pictures and/or video of my moment, but so far this is all that's surfaced:

Video: Juuuuuust before my hug:

Pictures:

Yes, that's me with the "Home Alone" facial expression.

And now he's fixing the damage I did to his mic. (Sorry!)

Now...all I have to say is this:  Jon, you sought me out like a heat seeking missile during "Tonight." You are *SO* an @OUBad girl!!! Love you, Fartass!

**Credit goes to @BobbiBaxter for getting the pictures. TY so much!

Sell crazy somewhere else; we're all stocked up here.

It's a vast array of personalities that build the fan base for celebrities.

There are the admiring fans. They may have seen a few movies or gone to a few concerts. They might own a t-shirt or two or maybe they know a couple songs. They may know some movie quotes. They might even be able to tell you the celebrity's birthday or which coast he lives on. They spend very little money on their admiration.

Next are the big fans. They're the ones who have most, if not all albums. They've bought (or at least rented) every movie. They can name spouses, children & immediate family members of their celebrities. They've probably gone to a handful of shows. If possible, they've probably done a couple VIP shows, too. They're the ones who travel across state lines to see their celebrity in person. They've waited in lines for autographs and photo opportunities.

Then, there are your die-hard fans. They've traveled to numerous shows, done several VIP's, bought tickets the very moment they go on sale (either online or by camping outside the venue). They've got all the t-shirts, posters and memorabilia they ever owned of their celebrities. They've slept on the streets of big cities to see their celebs on tv shows, entered contests and drawings to win one-on-one attention from their celebs. They've sat in movie theater lobbies for hours, if not days to be the first to view the midnight showing of their celeb's most recent film. They know all the answers to trivia questions and can probably tell you down to the day where they were X number of years ago "on this day" when asked something in regards to special days. The die-hard fans are probably in music videos or boarding a special celebrity cruise (or two). These are the fans who may be easily recognizable by other die-hard fans in social networking circles and in-person.

And we can't forget the hardcore fans. You know the ones - they may have saved used napkins from Waffle House or stolen underwear from their dryers at the laundromat. They may have covered themselves in tattoos or have walls plastered with photographs, posters and memorabilia. Hard-core fans know all the lyrics to every song, the character name of every role their celebrity has ever portrayed, the names of every family member up to and including cousins, aunts and uncles. They've gone to every show in every country. They've put their lives on hold to chase their celebrities to various locations for an opportunity to meet their celebrities (time and time again). They seem to have all the networks in place to know where rehearsals are, what hotels their celebrities stay at and what airline they're arriving on when they fly to various locations. These fans are well-known by other fans (most, of course are either very well-liked or strongly-disliked).

All fans fall somewhere along the grid from the meekest to the most hardcore. There are varying degrees of fans all over the board, actually.

Then there are those fans who are so extreme they make everybody else look like nobodies. These are the fans who have convinced themselves (and others) that they're dating a celebrity...married to a celebrity...stealing a celebrity from their spouse...having the celebrity's baby. They're the ones who go to great lengths to create artificial lives, lying to their friends and families, if given the chance even lying to the celebrities. Typically, they do nothing all day but spam their celebrities through social networks. Sometimes they'll even threaten harm to the celebrities or themselves. These people are not stable.

These "Crazies" as they're not-so-affectionately termed by the "normal" fan population make everybody else look bad. They're the nutjobs you read about in the news, where their neighbors say "She seemed really normal. She babysat my kids when I worked late. I just can't believe she even owned a gun, much less a high-powered semi-automatic weapon like that." Trust me, you do NOT want to be a Crazy.

So, ladies, if you're out there spoutin' off about being fitted for a wedding dress, buying a house together with your adulterous celebrity boyfriend or planning the birth of your child for when your celebrity lover is not on tour, you need to seriously re-evalute your life. Seek help because you've crossed from Crazy to Certifiable.

And seriously? We normal fans are just about DONE with your crazy.

(For those curious, I fall somewhere between die-hard and hardcore fans.)

When I'm wrong...

I say I'm wrong, as is the case here.

I took a lot of flack and ended up losing a friend over the blog I wrote recently regarding Joe's appearance and recent behavior at concerts.

I'm opinionated and I admit that, but not so proud that I can't take responsibility for being wrong. That's the case here. When I read the recent People article about Rhys and his hearing issues, I realized that the stress from this situation is probably mostly to blame for the changes in Joe.

I was told (quite vehemently, I might add) by my readers that the situation was caused by sleepless nights with having a newborn in the house. I'm the parent of two and while they are older, my children were both plagued with health problems early on and I don't remember having the dark circles and forgetfulness. Friends have also had children and I hadn't remembered them getting to that physical state, either. That is why I came to the deductions I came to with Joe.

I was also told that his hectic work schedule was to blame. Again, I was (and know of many) a working parent whose physical appearance didn't take that turn. And again, this is what brought me to my conclusions.

I am still deeply worried about the weight loss and forgetfulness Joe has shown over the last several months and that won't change, but I do understand a bit better. I apologize to Joe and to anyone I may have offended with my initial blog (which has been removed).

My deep love and admiration goes to Joe, Barrett and the McIntyre family.

Enough, already

I'm not sure where to begin with this without it coming across as a target for further insults, but enough's enough. I'm at my breaking point and while I pride myself on having a great sense of humor, it's just no longer funny.

You've got your favorite actor or musical artist. You've got that supermodel you absolutely drool over. You may obsess about NASCAR or football. You might have a video gaming habit, complete with a headset, monster-sized monitor and your own online network of gamers. You may throw yourself into politics and comment about the President's last speech or what Hannity had to say on yesteday's radio show. You may be an animal lover and adopt lots of pets. You may be incredibly religious and involved with church activities. Regardless of what interests you, those interests are yours. They're something you're passionate about. I may not share your interest, but I don't push my feelings about your interests onto you. That would be rude. What you choose to do with your free time is up to you.

So tell me, then, why do you think it's okay to make fun of me for my love for New Kids on the Block?

I take care of my family, I pay my bills, my house is clean and no one is being neglected. I take interest in other things like reading, watching movies and television. I socialize with my friends. I don't force you to listen to their music or watch their videos. I don't drag you to their concerts or convince you that you have to like them in order to be my friend, so what's the fucking issue here?

Are you so insecure in yourself that you have to shit all over my fun? Really? That's pathetic.

In the last two years, I've had everything about my life, my hobbies, my travel and even my familial relationships questioned by those around me. They ask my husband how he feels about this 'whole New Kids thing.' They've even gone so far as to start rumors about the demise of my marriage because of 'this obsession.' Let me clarify something right now: It's not your business. If there's a problem between my husband and I, after ten years of marriage, I think we've figured out how to communicate with one another. We don't need your meddling or your 'good intentions' interfering with how we're handling a situation, whether it be 'this obsession' or anything else. I can't imagine if my husband had a gambling problem that you'd have the gaul to stick your nose into our marriage and question how we were handling it, so why do you think it's ok to do it here?

If you don't like what I say on my blogs, Facebook or Twitter, you're welcome to unfollow me. In fact, I'm asking you to. Who you decide to follow should be based on what you want to see. If what I say gets on your nerves, then you don't need to follow me. You're not going to hurt my feelings by unfollowing me. I'm a big girl. I can handle it. The same is true on my end. I follow people who lift my spirits and make me feel good about myself. If you're insulting me or teasing me all the time, that doesn't do either of those things. You will be cut. Same goes for being around me in person. I'm not going to reign in who I am and what I enjoy simply because you have a problem with it. That's your problem, not mine. Again, you're free not to hang out with me. I'm not going to be offended.

"Geez, Mel. When did you lose your sense of humor?" Actually, I haven't lost my sense of humor. What I've lost is patience. I'm tired of being made of. I'm tired of being the butt of your stupid jokes. I'm tired of defending myself constantly for things that bring me a lot of joy to an otherwise hum-drum life.

I've been a New Kids on the Block fan since I was fourteen years old. They brought me through some very, very difficult times in my life. I was teased mercilessly in school for liking them and I'm teased mercilessly now. And I'd like to think that I've been a good sport for twenty-two years, but I've reached my breaking point.

Shut up. Move on.

I won't be discussing this again.

***Oh, and just for the record if I hear the term "New Fags on the Block," "Old Men on the Block" or any derivative of those just once more, I will not hesitate to bitch slap you.

Two Choices

When NKOTB announced their reunion back in early 2008, I was exhilarated. Tickled absolutely pink! It was something I'd dreamed about for 14 years, but never thought I'd see happen. Instantly, I was transported back to a tearful concert experience in 1994 when the curtain rose to just four mics on stage...to the empty months afterward with no new music, no news whatsoever, actually...to those months that turned into years. Those were the days before the internet. We had to pore over magazines hoping for coverage about our guys...coverage that never came. As overdramatic as it may seem, those years following the Face the Music era were the darkest of my life. My love for NK and their music went deep, so when no new music was released and radio stations didn't play any of their old stuff, it was like cutting off contact with old friends. It was brutal!

And now, here they were on the Today show announcing a reunion tour. It was like a Nora Ephron movie had been plopped down in the middle of my life - our boys were back!! Two girlfriends and I immediately bought tickets for the Kansas City show (ironically the same city in which I'd said goodbye to them in 1994) and planned our trip. At the time, we hadn't even considered buying a ticket to more than one show on the tour. It hadn't even crossed our minds. We had our one show and we were thrilled with it.

We entered the arena that chilly November night and sat at the very top of the first balcony level and were so excited. The opening came up on the big screen and we cried with thousands of other Blockheads in that arena. We were there!! Breathing the same air, seeing the same faces, hearing the same voices. We. Were. There.

When an extension tour was announced for spring, we jumped on board again. We'd learned a little bit, though and remembered how much we wished we'd followed the guys to Omaha after our Kansas City show. So when tickets went on sale in January for the spring shows, we bought tickets for two concerts just days apart from one another. One was here in Des Moines, the other was 3 hours away in Moline, IL. The small road trip wasn't a big deal to us, not when it came to our boys. Besides, we didn't know how long this reunion would last and we wanted to take advantage of as much of it as we possibly could. And we did. April brought our first face-to-face (and VERY unexpected) meeting with Donnie Wahlberg (and an across-the-parking-lot conversation with Joe McIntyre). That interaction with Joe & Donnie was a dream come true. Although it would've been nice to have gotten to meet them all, the fact that we got ANY face time with some of them was incredible to us. Especially since we didn't have to pay for VIP tickets to make it happen.

May rolled around and I put my life on hold for five days and flew to NYC in a last minute decision to see them on the Today show. I met up with girls that I consider sisters now. I formed a bond with a fantastic group of women and through them got to experience more Face Time. Again: free. Again: unexpected. I was ecstatic!

I'd made a conscious decision to bypass the Cruise, although I would've loved to have gone. I realized it just wasn't in the budget for my family and accepted it. I knew several people going, however and I was excited that they got to go. Besides, lets face it, my snark + open seas = bitches overboard. That's just NOT the way I'd like NKOTB to remember me. LOL Instead of lamenting on the cruise that would leave without me, I refocused on summer tour. We'd decided back in November that we were totally on board for a week of "Chasing the Band" if they did another big tour.

And chase we did. It started out just being a trip to Denver for RiceChex and me, but as time went on (and killer tickets became available), we added two dates in another state to our summer road trip. We did 5* for our Denver show and had 3rd row for Dallas. We also did the after-party at Ghost Bar. And while we didn't have great seats for the Houston show, we were there...at the last show of the tour. It was incredible and I will forever be thankful that I was there.

In the fall, the cruise was announced, as were the ticket sale dates. I'd said early on that if they did another cruise, I wanted to go. Unfortunately, financially recovering from summer tour had taken its toll and when tickets went on sale, I wasn't in a spot to buy my spot on the cruise. I was disappointed. VERY disappointed. I grumbled quite a bit about the time frame for the sales. I didn't understand why they allowed for such a short time between announcing the cruise and selling the tickets. I mean, after all, didn't we sell out the May 2009 cruise in January? Frustrating. Next came the announcements for Donnie's "I Got It" parties, the MacPac 3000 and dates for the Joe Show. More things I couldn't do. The finances just weren't there for me to do any of them. I was supremely disappointed, but I dealt. I tried focusing on the hints of new music and 2010 tour dates that had been hinted at.

And sure enough, a few weeks ago, NKOTB announced an appearance at Radio City Music Hall. That's in New York City. Scroll up....you see where I am? Des Moines. That's right. Another show I wouldn't be at. Disappointment reigned, but I knew that many of my girls would be able to go and I was excited for them. As it turned out, I was able to get tickets for RCMH after all and I will be there. It's not without sacrifice, however. I've had to cancel two other vacations I'd been looking forward to in order to go. But I have a greater chance of seeing all the people I want to see by doing it this way, so it's a sacrifice I'm willing to make.

As this summer "non-tour" was announced a couple weeks ago, I wasn't anticipating my ability to attend any shows. Vegas? Indiana? Atlantic City? Canada? Yeah...uhhh. NOT in the cards. I thought I *might* be able to pull off Indiana, but upon talking with the hubby, he said "Well, you've got NYC so that'll be fun," which is code for "Hammond ain't happenin'." I broke the news to my friend Caca, who said "No Chicago?!" I said "Wait..what?? What do you mean 'Chicago?'" She pointed out that the Hammond show was pretty much in Chicago. (Clearly my geography wasn't up to par.) I brought this up to RiceChex who promptly started searching for hotels. Apparently "Hammond is happenin'" (sorry, Honey!). In fact, it's happening twice. Maybe even a third. We haven't decided yet.

So what's my point in all this rambling about what I've done the last two years in regards to seeing NKOTB? It's simple: I haven't done everything I've wanted to do in regards to NK, but I've done what I can. I've done what I'm comfortable doing. I'm fortunate to have a supportive husband who allows me many freedoms. I've seen a good number of shows and while I'd LOVE to see every group appearance, every club party, every cruise and each of their own individual tour dates, it's just not feasible for me. I have to create a balance between what I'd like to do and what's realistic. I do what I can do and I hope that my friends can do the things I can't. It's a choice I make.

I'm sure that some of you are saying "Well, that's easy for you to say, you've gotten to see them numerous times and you've even met them!" And in a sense, you're right, but let's face it. I'm greedy. We all are, to an extent. We all want more. Have I bitched about NK's? Sure. We all have. But at the end of the day, we have to remember that they didn't have to do this reunion.

They chose to do it.

We have choices, too:
A) Do the things we're able to do and be happy with what we get
B) Exit slowly down the ramp and walk away from NKOTB

You aren't required to be on this journey. If you don't like it, you don't have to stay. There's the door. Because honestly, your bitching is bumming me out. And if Donnie's tweets are any indication, you're bumming him out, too. I get that there are people who haven't gotten any shows whatsoever and those fans have every right to feel disappointed, but if you've had even ONE show during this reunion, you're a helluva lot farther ahead of some Blockheads. This is meant to serve as a gentle reminder to that fact.

Please stop.

Just what I needed!!

I've had some Twitter love from Jon and Donnie, but since July, that's the only contact I've had with the guys. I didn't go to any of Donnie's "I Got It" parties, nor did I see Joe at any of his solo shows. I swear, I'm starting to get the shakes. It's sad!

Don't get me wrong, the tweets I've gotten from Jon and Donnie have been great and I am LOVING the interaction I've had with the both of them. I wouldn't trade it for anything. Jon keeps me in absolute stitches and constantly renders me speechless from the shit that spews from his mouth (er..fingers?). And there's no denying how much Donnie loves us. The shout-outs and twugs he's given me have been fantastic. After twenty years of feeling virtually invisible to these guys, this "Tw-affection" is fantastic! But I do miss seeing them in person...even from the 19th row, which where I was the last time I saw them live.

Last night, my husband and I had just gotten home from dinner and since he wasn't feeling good, he decided to turn in early. So I did what I do every night when he sleeps: I got online. Fresh out of the gate, I get a yahoo message from my friend Tracy "u know dannys chatting somewhere right?" WHAT?? GAH!

I'd heard about these little chats he did and I'd always missed out on them. Let's face it. I'm a Danny girl, but I don't follow the Danny girls. In fact, there's only one or two other Danny girls that I even talk to on a regular basis. So by the time I found out about these chats, it was usually hours after the fact.

I asked Tracy where the chat was and raced there as soon as I had the link. I logged in and there were over 220 people in chat. Are you freakin' KIDDING ME?! There would be NO way he'd see me. Unless...

Well, I did still have my hair and make-up done. I didn't look too bad. Fuck it! I clicked my web cam on and I was among about 10 others with their cams on, Danny included (Sweet lord, he looked amazing!). I muted everybody's mics but his and waited for a small lull in conversation before I dared to speak. I swallowed the small bit of nervousness I felt and started talking. I wasn't even sure if he could hear me with 10 other people talking, but only one way to tell for sure!

"Danny, I saw you in July in Denver and told you in my meet & greet that I was down 22lbs. I'm proud to announce I'm down a total of 37 lbs now thanks to you and your HIIT suggestions."

He got a huge smile on his face and he sat back in his chair, "That's great! That's really great! Congratulations! Keep it up!"

Wait. What? What the fuck did he just say? Did he actually hear me? OMG! *insert fangirl squeals here* (I was told later that my face was "priceless" and I absolutely "lit up" when he responded.)

I waited a couple more minutes and spoke again, "In Denver you said something about blogging about your fitness and nutrition stuff. Have you thought more about that?"

He nodded and said "Well, there's some stuff on my myspace account. I put a blog there."

I said "Yeah, I saw that and responded to it. I just wondered if there was going to be anymore anytime soon."

"That's it for now, but yeah. I'll probably put some more up soon," he replied.

Holy shit! He responded again!! I died. That's what happened. I had died and gone to heaven. I was sitting here having a conversation with Danny Wood like we were old friends.

Someone asked him about a solo tour, he answered her, too. (There's no plans for now.) Somebody else must've asked him about his tweets because he responded that he's got four kids and just can't take the time to tweet like some of the other guys, but that he does the best he can. He answered a couple other people and leaned back in his chair and reached into his fridge (big ole stainless steel monster, I might add!) and got a bottle of water.

I was feeling pretty ballsy by this point, so I spoke up again, "Danny? I have to ask you...at Thanksgiving, you mentioned that you're a vegetarian but I see a lot of leather in your wardrobe there, buddy!" (What can I say...I possess a faulty snark valve!)

He said "Excuse me, " he chuckled and continued, "I never said I was vegetarian. I said..." and his sound broke up.

"What's that? I couldn't hear you," I asked.

"I said I don't eat beef or pork," he responded.

"Ahh, all right, that explains it, then. My bad. I apologize. Thank you for clarifying, though!" I grinned. He still didn't explain the leather thing, but it didn't matter. I was too busy grinning at his reciprocated snark.

A couple more minutes went by, where you could tell he was looking at all the cams and then the chat box and he finally said "I love you guys."

I answered, "I love you, too!" He smiled.

A few more random questions and I asked him if he had any Super Bowl plans. He responded that he was thinking about taking the girls to a party, but he wasn't sure yet. It was at that point, much to my chagrin, I was booted from chat. I don't know if it was a glitch in the system or if I was indeed banned, but I was floating so high on Cloud 9, I didn't even care. I had a full-out conversation with Danny and even more importantly, I was remotivated on my fitness train.

It was JUST what I needed!!

So, to say what I didn't get to say Friday night before I got booted:

"I will see you in June and I'll be another 40lbs down! I can't wait to show you before/after pictures!"

Thank you, Danny for the kick in the ass. I love you for it!!

From Donnie! (Blog posted today on NKOTB.com)

Tuesday, October 20th, 2009
FROM DONNIE!

Hey All…

I know most of our communication lately is thru twitter…

However I also know that not everybody uses twitter and, quite frankly, sometimes the 140 character space that twitter provides just isn’t enough space to express ones self adequately.

That said…

I just wanted to take a moment and say a few things…

First and foremost I want to say thank you to all NKOTB fans! To the BH’s, the Soldiers, the “crews” and everyone!

The last two years have been so unreal and so unexpected that I sometimes wake up thinking it was all my imagination.

Yet it is real.

We are here.

And I must say…

The love and support you all have shown to each and every member of this group- both collectively and individually- is astounding.

Wether it was Jordans foot surgery or his various twitter campaigns, Danny’s work with the Komen Foundation, Jon’s singing “step 5″ or his amazing tweets, Joe’s “Let’s Get This” campaign or my own insanity at The Waffle House at 4 a.m….

You all have shown, each one us, the utmost love and support!

It never ceases to amaze me.

It is often said…

The New Kids are “great to their fans”.

And we often say in response “that is because we have the GREATEST fans”.

This has never been more true than in the downtime since The Full Service Tour ended.

(That is… IF you call it down time).

Since then… Each member has stayed in touch with many of you, through twitter etc, while at the same time taking on various individual projects.

Be it movies, solo music projects, charitable work, twitter contests, real estate projects or what have you…

Most members of The Block have been very busy and many of you all have been just as busy- standing right along side us- showing that fierce love and support that you always do.

Through it all… I want you to remember, as well as it is important that we too remember, that we are a unit.

The Block and its fans- We are a team.

Supporting each other, enjoying each other and enjoying what each other has to offer, is part of being teammates.

Myself personally…

I never really thought I would make music as a “solo” artist. Hell I’ve been off shooting a movie… And to be honest I don’t even particularly like that title attatched to my name- “solo artist”?!?!?! Strange for me.

But I must admit… I am thankful that you all allow me the freedom to act on my creative whims…

I write a song for fun…?

I send it out to you all.

You react to it…?

We all have FUN!

That is, was, and will always be my goal in the music business… FUN.

Having FUN, seeing you have fun and doing it in a way that allows us to all have fun together.

Doing everything I can to give back to you… What you give to me.

The success?

That is really just the cherry on top.

The amazing thing is-

There is so much more fun to be had.

Other members of The Block are creating and building and engaging you in their own ways…

It is going to be fun to see what they have in store for us!

And most important…

It is going to be fun to see what the world has in store and what WE have in store for the world in 2010 and 2011.

We have NOT stopped working, as a group, towards the future.

Working on ways to surprise you, entertain you, empower you and to give you as much joy as you can possibly take in!

“In the worst of times… We’ve had the best of times”.

Forgive me for quoting myself…

But that fact will never be lost on me.

We have been riding out some very tough times in this world together.

Army wives, mothers, sisters, daughters, husbands, soldiers, 9 to 5ers, single moms, brothers, widows….

You name it… We are all here together.

So blessed.

So fortunate to have something that bonds us…

That reminds us…

That no matter how tough things get…

It is always a blessing to feel free.

Music and love have that power.

Music and love are the core of who we are.

And who we will remain.

Thanks for the time.

As Always Your Man,

Donnie W.

I MISSED CHICAGO!

It just dawned on me that I didn't blog about the Chicago trip in June.

THAT must be remedied soon.

634

It happened again. 187 tweets after the first shout-out last Sunday.

That boy started my week OUT with a bang and ENDED it with a bigger bang!!

Thank you, Donnie!! Love you, ya freakin' freak! xoxo

The Dark Place

April 16, 1994

The drive to Kansas City from Des Moines felt like it took only a few minutes, but in reality, we left town at 3am, only to arrive at Memorial Hall around 7. We circled the arena and were hell bent on being able to meet our favorite band, New Kids on the Block. Having not been to a show in almost 3 years, we went off what we knew: the location and our determination.

When we arrived, there wasn't a soul to be found near this tiny venue. Having sold out stadiums & huge arenas, we were shocked at the size of this tiny auditorium, but encouraged that maybe it would just be more intimate....like an MTV-Unplugged show. We were a bit perplexed at the lack of equipment trucks and the absence of tour buses, but it was still early, afterall.

We decided to kill some time shopping and eventually made our way back to the arena around 4. Finally the trucks had arrived and had been setting up for some time it seemed. A few handfuls of girls waited around by the doors & on the front steps of the arena. There were a few girls talking to someone who I later found out was the choreographer for the tour. We talked to him for a few minutes ourselves. We wandered around a bit, hoping for a glimpse...some scrap of evidence that our boys were there, but other than seeing a woman someone said was Danny's girlfriend, we didn't see much.

Hours went by and we finally filed into the auditorium. If you could even call it that. It was more like a converted high school gymnasium. There *may* have been 1,500 people there. We'd gotten the last seats for the show, which were in the VERY back row. We could literally sit on the back of our chairs and rest against the outer walls of the auditorium.

But we were THERE, dammit! We were seeing our boys in just a few minutes! I don't honestly remember who opened the show, or if anyone opened the show. We were too anxious to see the guys. Finally, the lights went down...and the curtain went up...

....oh my GOD!!!

We squealed and screamed and shouted and hollered with everyone else in the auditorium. We scrambled to find who was standing where so we could zero in on our favorite (at the time, we were both Jon girls). Mic stand! Mic stand! Mic stand! Mic stand! Mic st...wait. No...1, 2, 3, 4.....

Joey.

Danny.

Donnie.

Jordan.

What. The. F*ck?

We scanned again and again, finally looking at each other with tears in our eyes. Where the hell is Jon? We went from ecstatic to stoic in a split second. We slid from the backs of our chairs into them and sat there with our heads in our hands. What happened??

This isn't New Kids on the Block! There's only FOUR mic stands. There's FIVE members!

I couldn't tell you what was sung that night or what was said. I only remember what the guys looked like because it was what everybody wore those days: flannel. All I remember was the heartache of knowing that our boy band was missing a member. OUR member. Jordan finally explained later that Jon had fallen off his horse, Shakespeare, and was recovering. He was fine, but wasn't able to perform at that time.  We were crushed. I wish I could tell you that the show went on and it was wonderful, but I can't. It was horrible. The sound was bad, the songs were iffy, at best. But I can't tell you if that had more to do with the group or its missing member.

By 1994, Bop and Teen Beat weren't covering stories on New Kids anymore, so we hadn't heard a thing. Internet was still a thing of the future so we had no way of knowing what had happened or what was to come. We were totally in the dark, but we knew one thing. It would never be the same as what it was. We were twenty now and not only did this whole thing signify the end of our favorite group, we knew it closed the door on our youth. It was a bitter pill to swallow.

We drove home that night, depressed and heartbroken. For years, we blocked this out of our heads and tried to only remember when the group was at its best. I couldn't even listen to "Face the Music" because it was such a raw memory for me. To this day, I still refer to this as "The Dark Place."

September 18, 2009

It's been over fifteen years since that door was closed. It's since been reopened, but today, there's a shadow on the happiness this last year has brought us. Thanks to an overzealous fan and perhaps the same things that drove Jon away in 1994, we're missing a brother again. Jon's Twitter account is empty and his tweets have all been deleted. There's only his picture and a message that says "Be back soon." My heart is breaking. Not because of selfish reasons this time, though...but because I know how much Jon enjoys being around us and how very much he must be hurting in order to have done this a second time.

My friends have laughed at me whenever a tour ends and I sit in a corner rocking back and forth repeating "No Dark Place!" like a mantra. They don't understand...I've been through this before. I know what four mic stands on a stage looks like and I never want to be there again. Ever.

With a cruise & rumors (Thank you, Donnie) of a 2010 summer tour only time will tell, if Jon comes back, but for now, if you need me, I'll be in the corner rocking back and forth.

447

Four-hundred-forty-seven.

That's the number of tweets I sent to @donniewahlberg before he responded to me, tonight.
And apparently pornographic thoughts are what motivate the man. This is my message that he responded to:
The video he's talking about is the one I submitted for a contest he's doing to fly a fan out to be an "assistant" for his alter-ego, Tony Spallelli. We had to keep our submission under 3o seconds, so I had to edit down my video, but I did share with him the whole video, too.

My 30-second submission:

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The full video:


Yep...the DH may be an ass today, but Wahlberg came through for me. Thanks D-Dub.